Child Protection Policy

Pittsfield Assembly of God God’s Heart for the Vulnerable

As a community, Pittsfield Assembly of God is committed to protecting children, caring for survivors, and holding abusers accountable. Our commitments come from God, who is a ref- uge for the abused and never ignores their cry (Psalm 9:9, 12). Our community seeks to em- body Jesus’s priority of protection for the vulnerable, especially children.

Child abuse is a particularly grievous sin and a crime, when someone in a position of power and trust violates or exploits a child who is powerless to stop it. Abuse is sadly a common real- ity in this world. As Christians we cannot face abuse if we are in denial about the reality of abuse. Instead, Jesus calls us to be “wise as serpents.” (Matthew 10:16) We all must be- come educated about abuse and take responsibility to uphold our policy. Our goal is to pre- vent and respond appropriately to abuse by becoming a community that is educated on vari- ous forms of abuse and common dynamics, clarifying appropriate boundaries, and doing the hard work of holding each other accountable. All people should experience an environment of safety and justice and one that is free from any form of abuse and neglect.

By its very nature, our community includes interaction with vulnerable children. Sadly, many within the church have acted in predatory ways toward children and predators will often seek environments with children. Abuse in all forms is almost always perpetrated by someone known to the victim. Abusers utilize a variety of tactics to gain trust, deceive both victims and others within a community, and keep the abuse secret. This policy only states what we all must take ownership of in our community as we together walk with Jesus who only uses power to serve.

Definitions and Policy Foundations

Abuse: In general, abuse occurs when a person in a position of power and/or trust (e.g. pastor, leader, boss, mentor, supervisor, parent, adult, older child, etc.) uses that position to exploit or violate someone who is more vulnerable (e.g. a child, someone who is sick, elderly, or disa- bled, student, employee, intern, immigrant, etc.). That exploitation or violation can take a vari- ety of forms such as emotional, financial, physical, sexual, spiritual, etc.

Child: Any person under 18, and we also consider anyone in our student ministry to be a child for the purposes of this policy.

Sexual Abuse: When a person in a place of power and/or trust, engages in sexual behavior

with a child or an adult under their supervision, authority, mentoring, or spiritual care, including:

Sexual Penetration: Any act or attempted act of vaginal or anal penetration, however slight, by

a person's penis, finger, other body part, or an object, and/or any oral-genital contact.

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Non-Contact Sexual Acts: for example, such as sending or receiving nude photos, sexual

communication, exposing oneself or manipulating a child to expose themself, recording a mi-

nor changing, etc.

Physical Abuse: non-accidental injury as a result of physically harming a child, that is inflicted by a parent, caregiver, or other person who has responsibility for or power over the child. Such injury is considered abuse regardless of whether the caregiver intended to hurt the child.

Physical discipline, such as spanking or paddling, is not considered abuse as long as it is reasonable and causes no bodily injury to the child.

Emotional Abuse: When a person holding power and trust, uses pattern of controlling and domineering behaviors such as shaming, insulting, degrading, intimidating, threatening, humiliating, and/or domineering. Such a pattern has a substantial likelihood of causing harm to the child’s development.

Neglect can take different forms:

• Physical: failure to provide necessary food or shelter, or lack of appropriate supervision

• Medical: failure to provide necessary medical or mental health treatment

• Educational: failure to educate a child or attend to special education needs

• Emotional: inattention to a child’s emotional needs including giving love and affection,

  failure to provide psychological care, or permitting the child to use alcohol or other drugs

  • Use of religious ideology, precepts, tradition, or sacred texts to harm

  • Compelling a person to engage in religious acts against his or her will

  • Abuse that occurs in a religious context or by a religious leader

  • Invoking of divine authority to manipulate a person into meeting the needs of the abuser

  • Using spirituality or spiritual authority to dismiss a person’s perspective, agency, or value.

  • Attempts to use the divine, sacred texts, sacred tradition, theology, or spirituality to put their leadership or decisions beyond questioning or accountability.

  • Attempts to spiritualize or justify harm using the divine, sacred texts, sacred tradi- tion, theology, or spirituality.

Spiritual Abuse: a form of emotional abuse, meaning a pattern of coercive or domineering

behaviors using religion, usually by a person who holds power and trust. Many acts of abuse in

a religious environment will have a spiritual dimension. Examples include:

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Indicators of Abuse: Because “the majority of children who are sexually abused will be moder- ately to severely symptomatic at some point in their life,”1 we are familiar with and attentive to potential indicators of child sexual abuse. This will be a key aspect of training for our church. For a list of common indicators of abuse in children see Appendix I.

Impact of Abuse: Though a child’s injuries may be hidden from the untrained eye, child sexual abuse and other forms of child maltreatment can result in immediate and/or lasting impact in all realms of the person’s well-being. Understanding how child abuse can traumatize the child and have a lasting impact in the life of a surviving adult is a critical first step in preventing abuse and responding compassionately. Not every child will display the impact of their mal- treatment and not every adult will experience the long-term consequences of their traumatic childhood experiences, but all are at increased risk.

Perpetrators of child maltreatment: People who sexually abuse children often utilize deception, authority, trust, or physical force/threats to gain access and control over children so they can perpetrate the abuse. The vast majority of those who perpetrate abuse in any form are known by their victims. In a Christian community, offenders typically groom not only victims, but caregivers and all in the community to establish a perception of themselves as someone who would never abuse a child.

Appropriate Boundaries with Children

Our entire community must take collective responsibility to promote healthy interaction and boundaries with children. Abuse prevention takes place not only during structured times of ministry, but in our hallways, restrooms, parking lot, and homes. The following boundaries ap- ply to all within our church and all of us are responsible for holding each other accountable. Any violation of the following boundaries or any other concern related to safety should be re- layed to the Fortify Team as soon as possible.

No one should be alone with a child who is not their own, especially not in an isolated area. This includes times of structured ministry as well as unstructured times, whether on or off church property (including giving rides). If you enter a restroom and a child is present alone, please wait outside the restroom until they come out. No one is permitted to assist a child in the restroom who is not their own child (except two adults in a time of structured ministry as outlined below).

1 S. R. Dube, R. F. Anda, C. L. Whitfield, D. W. Brown, V. J. Felitti, M. Dong, and W. H. Giles, “Child

Sexual Abuse: Consequences and Implications,” Journal of Pediatric Health Care 24 (2005): 358-364. Retrieved from: www.medscape.com/viewarticle/731970_1; See also, S. R. Dube, et. al., “Long-Term Consequences of Childhood Sexual Abuse by Gender of Victim,” American Journal of Preventive Medicine, 28 (2005): 430–438. Retrieved from www.ajpmonline.org/arti- cle/S0749-3797(05)00078-4/fulltext.

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Touch should always be welcomed by the child. Adults should always understand and respect that children do not always welcome touch and pay attention to the child’s body language. If you are unsure if the child is consenting, just ask. Although most sexual offenses against chil- dren are committed in more isolated settings, some child sex offenders will seek to offend in the presence of other adults. We also require that all touch between an adult and a child is transparent, observable, and accountable to other adults.

We prohibit the following:

Sexually or physically abusive touch
Any touch that is unwanted by a child or not observable by others
Touching a child’s thighs, stomach, or lower back
Any intimate touch such as massage, playing with hair, or any touch under clothing Tickling, Piggyback Rides, or other games involving lots of touch with children
Lap sitting (except for holding children in the nursery or to briefly comfort a child who is 3 or under)
Full frontal hugs
Corporal Punishment

We encourage healthy affection for children through the following as long as it is welcome by the child and accountable to other adults:

• High-fives

• Pats on the shoulder

• Side hugs

  Group messages are preferred regarding electronic communications with our youth. Adult staff and volunteers will avoid lengthy personal communications in these forms.

  We acknowledge that sexual communication and sharing sexual content is a common groom- ing tactic by offenders. As such, our community prohibits the following, especially directed to- ward children:

• Sexually suggestive language or slang, sexual jokes, sexual innuendo, descriptions of sexual experiences/habits

• Sharing or displaying of any sexual images, videos or other content

• Music, videos games, and movies with inappropriate sexual themes

  Any education about sexuality will occur with prior approval and notice through the Fortify Team and church leadership. Parents will be notified ahead of time. Our Fortify Team will con- duct regular safety talks on various aspects of prevention, including appropriate boundaries and consent.

  When the correction of children is necessary, adults should avoid any form of harsh language including shaming, humiliation, or yelling. No physical punishment is allowed, period. Any

• • • • • •

• •

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serious issues of misconduct by kids should be brought to the attention of parents and church leadership. Our church encourages positive verbal interactions, including:

• Encouragement

• Kind words

• Positive reinforcement

• Appropriate jokes

  At the beginning of each ministry year, parents will register any child who attends activities and programs. The registration will record who may safely pick up a child from an event, any allergies the child has, medical concerns the church needs to know about, and doctor to con- tact in case of an emergency.

  Attendance will be taken at all events. Once children’s attendance is recorded for an event, it is the church’s responsibility to supervise those children. Children in seventh grade and older can be released without parental sign-out on Sunday morning and Wednesday night on-site activities. Once the child leaves church property they will not be permitted back into that ser- vice.

  Because a large percentage of child abuse occurs in isolation from others, our church will strive to keep a minimum of two adults to supervise all ministries involving children and youth including, but not limited to, Sunday morning and Wednesday night classes, and off-site offi- cial church events. Our ratios for the supervision of young children will follow the recom- mended guidelines of our state. All adults serving in our ministry with children and youth should set an example to bring transparency and accountability to any close interactions with children.

  Staff and volunteers should be aware and cautious of displaying favoritism towards a child or group of children unless the gifts are:

• Able to be given to other children at other times for similar reasons (e.g., gifts to gradu- ating seniors; a new Bible for students entering middle school; end of the year thank you gifts to older teens who volunteered in a ministry)

• Signed from the church rather than the individual staff member or volunteer.

• Given together with another staff member or volunteer.

  Assistance in the restroom shall be done by a parent, selected family member, or by two adults who are approved to serve in the ministry. Assistance shall be conducted with disposable gloves to prevent any skin-to-skin contact and to promote good hygiene. All diapering shall be done by the parents of the child or selected family member.

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This Policy shall be dispersed widely to the church community through publications, public discussion, educational opportunities, sermons, training programs and other appropriate means of communication that will raise awareness and promote the mentality that all of us are responsible for creating a safe environment for children. Specifically, the most current version of our Policy shall be:

• Posted on the church’s website

• Printed Policies will be available in the church lobby, main office, and children’s wing

• Distributed in new-member packets

• Revisited often by our leaders as a key aspect of discipleship in sermons and other communications.

  All church staff and volunteers must sign an annual affirmation that they have read and agree to abide by the terms of this Policy including holding others accountable.

  Furthermore, all staff and volunteers will attend annual training on child maltreatment and this policy. Church members are welcome to attend the training as well.

  Hiring and Screening

  In keeping with our values of protecting the children in our care, we require the following screening procedures for any person whom the church employs or any person who volunteers with the church’s children’s or youth ministries:

• The completion of a written application.

• At least two references to be contacted (at least three for employees). These references

  should include:

o Previousemployers(foremployees)
o Atleastonereferencenotsupplieddirectlybytheapplicant(foremployees)
o Referencesforanyposition(volunteeroremployed)wherethepersonworked

with minors.
• A background check may include the following information:

o Confirmationofeducationandpreviousemployment(foremployees) o Localcriminalrecordcheck(ifavailable)
o Statecriminalrecordcheck
o FBIcriminalrecordcheck

o Statecentralchild/dependentadultabuseregistrycheck o Statesexoffenderregistrycheck

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o Motorvehiclerecordcheck(ifresponsibilitiesincludedriving) o Socialmediaandinternetsearch

If the screening process yields information that an individual abused a child or any person in any way or has been convicted of a violent and/or sexual crime, that individual may not work with children or vulnerable adults in any capacity (and see our Known Sex Offender Policy Be- low). If any potentially concerning information comes to light or if the screening process shows that a candidate has ever been accused or convicted of any type of crime, we may consult an expert to help assess the situation.

Policy Violations and Concerns

Pittsfield Assembly of God takes seriously all policy violations, and all concerns related to respect and safety. Any person - staff, volunteer, parent, or church member - who witnesses a violation of this policy is expected to intervene if you feel safe to do so or get someone who can then speak up to the Fortify Team as soon as possible or any leader. Furthermore, any concerns related to vulnerable persons should be brought to the attention of the Fortify Team. The Fortify Team will document all concerns or policy violations and collaborate on any appropriate response and accountability. Any concerns about the Fortify Team may go to the Church leadership. The Fortify Team will assess and update this policy annually.

Reporting Child Abuse and Leadership Response

The abuse of a child is not only an egregious sin, but a serious crime. Reporting could save a child from immeasurable suffering. Silence in the face of abuse brings incredible harm to vic- tims and emboldens offenders. We encourage all adults to consider it their ethical duty to re- port the abuse of children to the proper authorities. When you report abuse, you are not per- sonally accusing someone of abuse. You are simply giving information that may prove vital to the protection of children to professionals who are trained to respond in a variety of ap- propriate ways.

Immediate Response Protocols

1. When there is a reasonable belief that any person is in immediate danger (e.g. an act of violence is actively happening or has just occurred), call 911. After the call, contact a member of the Fortify Team.

2. If there is a disclosure of abuse, any evidence or knowledge of abuse, or any reasona- ble belief of abuse against a minor (age 17 or younger or a student in our ministry), all adults within Pittsfield Assembly of God Church must immediately report online or by phone at https://childabuse.illinois.gov or 800-25-ABUSE (800-252-2873).2 Potential

2 Please visit https://dcfs.illinois.gov/safe-kids/reporting.html for more information.

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child abuse or neglect or abuse against a vulnerable adult should also be reported to a local police or sheriff’s department.

Online exploitation of children should be reported to the Cyber Tipline at 800-843-5678 or online at www.CyberTipline.org. DO NOT try to investigate the matter. Any delay in reporting could result in a loss of critical evidence, potentially be a violation of the law, and worst of all, enable the continued abuse of vulnerable children or adults. After the report, contact a member of the Safety Team.

3. After receiving any information from any above steps, a Fortify Team member shall in- form the entire team (except a person or family member of a person who is involved in any allegation) and document the information. If there are concerns or allegations in- volving a member or members of the Fortify Team, the report may go to any member of the church leadership. The family of a potential child victim will not be informed of the report or allegation immediately if the suspected perpetrator is in the home or family so as not to interfere with any investigation by law enforcement or DCFS.

4. The Fortify Team and church leadership shall ensure reports have been made to proper authorities (law enforcement and social services) in situations of potential abuse, as ex- plained above. In other cases, involving an adult victim, the Fortify Team and church leadership will respect the agency of any adult victim(s) with regard to whether the adult victim(s) reports personally to the appropriate authorities. The decision of a survivor to personally report adult abuse and/or cooperate with authorities is ultimately their choice. However, the Fortify Team will work to encourage and support the victim(s) in every pos- sible way. The Fortify Team will always report child abuse, even if it was perpetrated long ago, if it occurred in connection with the ministry of Pittsfield Assembly of God.

5. After receiving any information from any above steps, the Fortify Team will coordinate with the church leadership on critical response issues including:

   1. Assessing Safety

   2. Assessing Accountability or Boundaries for Alleged Perpetrators

   3. Implementing Care for any Victims and Families

   4. Connecting to Specialized Resources

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Any person facing an allegation of abuse, and any family member or close mentor of such a person must recuse themselves from these response

protocols, whether a member of the Fortify Team or church leadership. .

Independent Consultation and Investigation

When an independent investigation does not come through law enforcement or DCFS, there are several scenarios when Pittsfield Assembly of God may pursue independent consultation or

investigation in response to allegations of abuse, such as:

• Authorities decline to investigate a report of abuse even though there is evidence of the wrongdoing.

• The alleged offender is not charged with criminal wrongdoing by the authorities after an investigation, but sufficient concerns remain whether the alleged offender engaged in wrong-

  ful conduct that may disqualify him/her from continued participation in the organization.

• There is a serious pattern of misconduct denied by the alleged perpetrator.

• The alleged offender is a member of the church leadership or the Fortify Team.

• The alleged victim(s) requests an investigation or there is a strong belief that there may be other victims.

• The organization wants to investigate and assess how it responded to the allegations of abuse to better understand how it could have responded more effectively and to improve for the future.

  The Fortify Team will make a recommendation to the church leadership regarding the wisdom of independent consultation or investigation. If an independent investigation is deemed necessary, Pittsfield Assembly of God will retain an organization that meets the following criteria:

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1. Completely independent of Pittsfield Assembly of God Church

2. A multi-disciplinary team experienced in proper investigation techniques such as:

   G.R.A.C.E. (Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment)

3. Up to date on child maltreatment research

   Supporting Survivors

Because children and adult survivors are often legitimately reluctant to disclose abuse, Pittsfield Assembly of God acknowledges that when survivors choose to do so, they need our commu- nity’s utmost support. See Appendix II for guidance on supporting survivors.

Support Person(s). A member or members of the Fortify Team and/or church leadership will be designated as a “Support Person(s)” and will reach out to the child and the child’s family3 within 24 hours of learning of the abuse to express the church’s unequivocal support. Understanding that abuse can have an ongoing impact on a child and a child’s family, the Support Person(s) will seek permission from the child and the child’s family to continue offering support on an ongoing basis. This support will include:

• Showing up

• Listening

• Validating strong (even negative) emotions

• Asking the child and the child’s family how else the church can offer support

• Respecting the privacy and agency of the victim

  Support Person(s) will understand the limitations of their role and will not offer therapeutic, le- gal or other advice, but will instead complement the efforts of involved professionals to support the child and family.

  Support Person(s) will be careful to avoid causing further harm, and under no circumstances, even when the abuse is alleged and there is no legal resolution, will a Support Person(s):

• Place any portion of blame for the abuse on the child or the child’s family

3 In most cases the Support Person will reach out to the child and the child’s family. However, in some instances it may be appropriate to reach out and offer support only to the child (e.g., a teenager who has been abused by both parents or a child who has been abused by a parent and gone unsupported by the other parent), while abiding by the boundaries outlined in this Policy. In certain cases this will be delayed so as not to interfere with any DCFS or law enforcement investigation.

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• Probe for intimate details of the abuse

• Express disbelief of the child

• Attempt to silence the child or the child’s family in any way or for any reason

• Encourage noncompliance with the law

• Express support for the perpetrator

• Urge reconciliation with or forgiveness of the perpetrator

  Mental Health Care. The church will offer to help families find a qualified mental health

  practitioner with expertise treating victims of abuse and their family members. If the family requires assistance paying for mental health treatment, the church will offer to subsidize such treatment or connect the family to resources that may be able to assist in this regard. If the child is found to have been abused by a church employee, volunteer, or other individual serv- ing in an official capacity, or that the church was negligent or otherwise complicit in allowing the abuse to happen, the church will reimburse the entire cost of treatment for the child and the child’s family members.

  Public Support. The church commits to protecting the privacy of all victims of child abuse. We also understand that all too often child victims of abuse are publicly marginalized while communities rally to protect abusers. In the event that a victim of abuse is publicly attacked or disparaged for the abuse or their response to the abuse, the church leadership will – with the victim’s permission – make a public statement denouncing and prohibiting such treatment of the victim and urge the community to offer support instead. If the disparagement occurs pri- vately, the church leadership will communicate the same message privately to the relevant in- dividuals.

  Policy on Known Child Sex Offenders

  Pittsfield Assembly of God is committed to holding admitted or convicted offenders we believe are repentant to a high standard of accountability. Known offenders who demonstrate evidence that they are not repentant are extremely dangerous and are not welcome in our church. Jesus welcomed sinners, but he did not command us to welcome wolves among the sheep. Known offenders who wish to have any connection to our church must be willing to undergo a process designed to assess their individual situation, ongoing repentance, and what safeguards are appropriate. Offenders must agree to accept whatever accountability and safeguards our leadership, in consultation with experts, deem appropriate. Offenders must be willing to agree to this before the process of assessment begins. No assessment will begin if the victim(s) of the perpetrators are still in our church as any victim should be free to worship without their perpetrator present. If a convicted offender asks to join our community, we will contact experts to assist with the assessment of the situation. Similarly, if an individual was in the past credibly accused of abuse, the Fortify Team will contact an outside expert on how to best proceed.

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Leaders will use the following process: 1. Interview with the Known Offender

2. Interview with other Relevant Parties (e.g. family, treatment provider, counselor, parole officer, etc.)

3. Acquiring Records relating to the Offender
4. Assessing Repentance in Consultation with Experts

5. [If applicable]: Setting Level of Participation, Accountability, and Safeguarding Requirements (Including listening to any known survivors about the impact in their life, and accountability on and off church property).

Leaders will consult with experts as needed throughout this process to ask appropriate questions and assess them. No one who is convicted of or who has admitted to abusing a child may work with children or vulnerable people in the ministry of our church, have any access to children in our church (on or off church property), this includes being in the children’s ministry wing of the church or hold any position of power or trust, even if it is not directly connected to ministry to children. Any offender who evidences deception, minimization, excuses, victim blaming, or other indicators they are not repentant shall not be allowed any connection to our church. Unrepentant offenders are not welcome.

Leadership will update and post county sex offender list in the security room.

Appendix I - Potential Indicators of Child Abuse

Consider the possibility of sexual abuse if a child has:

• Torn, stained, or bloody underclothing

• Difficulty, pain or blood in the genital area when walking, sitting, or using the bathroom

• Discharge from the penis or vagina

• Injuries (e.g., bruises, tearing, bleeding), itching, or swelling in the genital, vaginal, or

  anal area

• Urinary tract infections, yeast infections, sexually transmitted diseases

• Pregnancy

  It is atypical for children to engage in the following sexual behaviors:

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• Placing mouth on sex part

• Asking others to engage in sexual acts

• Trying to have intercourse or imitating intercourse

• Undressing others, especially if done forcefully

• Imitating sexual positions with dolls

• Inserting an object into vagina or anus, especially if child continues to do so despite pain

• Manually stimulating or having oral or genital contact with pets

• Making sexual sounds

• Inserting tongue in mouth when kissing Consider the possibility of physical abuse if you notice:

• Frequent injuries of any kind (e.g., bruises, cuts, fractures, burns)

• Especially if the child is unable to provide an adequate explanation of the cause of in-

  jury

• These injuries may appear in distinctive patterns such as grab marks, human bite

  marks, cigarette burns, or impressions of other instruments

• Pay particular attention to injuries that present on both sides of the head or body, as

  accidental injuries typically only affect one side of the body

  Consider the possibility of neglect of a child:

• Is obviously malnourished, listless, or fatigued

• Begs, steals, or hoards food or complains frequently of hunger

• Is consistently dirty or has severe body odor

• Lacks sufficient clothing for the weather

• Untreated illness, injuries, health (e.g., unfilled cavities) or serious educational needs

• Broken or missing eyeglasses, hearing aid, or other necessary aids or equipment

• Has an untreated need for glasses, dental care, or other medical attention

• Stays at school outside of school hours

• Frequently absent or significant academic struggles

• Is inappropriately left unsupervised

• Abuses alcohol or other drugs

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Polyvictimization: Pittsfield Assembly of God takes all indicators and suspicions of child maltreatment seriously. We are aware of the research on polyvictimization, which tells us that children who are maltreated in one way are at significantly increased risk of being maltreated in multiple ways. Therefore, as our church becomes aware of an indicator or report of a child be- ing maltreated in one way, we will be alert to the possibility that this child might also be mal- treated in another way and will take steps to protect the child from known risks and be extra attentive to and supportive of the child.

Appendix II - Personally Supporting Survivors

When children disclose, they almost always do so reluctantly, or in ways that are unconvincing or, and may later recant even when there is proof that the abuse occurred. If questioned directly, many child victims may deny the abuse. When children disclose intentionally, children may first test the adult’s reaction by pretending that the abuse happened to a friend or by supplying only a small bit of information. If a child discloses abuse to you, the following are

helpful

tips on how to respond in the moment:

• Stay calm.

• Show love and respect for the child.

• Thank the child for telling you and praise the child’s courage.

• If the child expresses guilt or concerns about getting in trouble, reassure the child that no matter what happened he or she is not to blame.

• If the child expresses concern about not being believed, reassure the child that you believe him/her.

• Allow the child to talk freely; do not interrupt, ask the child to repeat words, or probe for details. Use open-ended questions such as “What happened next?” or “Tell me more.”

• Do not offer false assurances, such as a promise to keep the child’s disclosure a secret.

• Let the child know what to expect next and incorporate their input where possible.

• Protect the child immediately from the suspected offender.

• Report the abuse to authorities and your supervisors/church leaders.

• Document the disclosure and your report.

• Protect the child’s right to privacy and avoid the urge to turn indiscriminately to

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colleagues, friends, or family for advice. Instead turn to professionals experienced in handling cases of child sexual abuse and to carefully selected individuals who can help and support to the child and you.

Receiving an adult’s abuse disclosure is an honor, not a burden; it is a sign of trust. Victims often choose to disclose their abuse years, even decades after it occurred. Pittsfield Assembly of God encourages anyone receiving an adult’s abuse disclosure to be guided by the following responses:

DO Say

Thank you for telling me. I believe you.

You did the right thing ___________ (asking for help/telling me/re- porting the abuse etc.).

I’m glad you’re talking with me.

I’m sorry this happened to you.

How can I help?

Take as much time as you need.

Things may never be the same, but they can get better.

I am here.

The following should only be said if the victim indicates these concerns are on his/her mind.

It is okay to be angry.

DON’T Say

Why are you telling me this?

Why didn’t you ___________ (scream/stop him etc.)

What do you mean when you say he abused you? What exactly did he do?

Tell me more details about what hap- pened.

Why did he do that to you? Had you done something to make him think that was okay?

You need to forgive and move on. Don’t worry, it’s going to be all right.

It’ll take some time, but you’ll get over it.

It was so long ago, why are you still letting your abuser win by hanging on to it? Let it go.

Try to be strong.

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It’s understandable you’re feeling that way. Your reaction is not an uncommon response.

You’re not going crazy. These are normal re- actions following an assault.

It wasn’t your fault.

Out of tragedies good things happen. You’re lucky that ___________ didn’t happen.

It was God’s will.

I know how you feel.
Perhaps you misunderstood...

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